First of all, let me tell you what WRITE is. WRITE is GMAC's official scoring software (available on the official website), which can only be used online. For $29, you can buy a topic for AI and AA. Each topic can be submitted twice, and scores are given on the spot each time, the same as the official E-rater. A scoring standard is also one of the official ways for GMAC to make money. Although there are real-person scores in the actual exam and the final average score, but personally I still think this is a very good service. This is the only test I know that can buy the score results. Saying this is not advertising, I want to use the actual test results to prove the key point to beat GMAT composition: word count.
Post an AA scoring result with WRITE:
Total Score 6
Analyze the issue 6
Supports ideas 6
Organizes a coherent idea 6
Language control 6
Title: "The package ofbenefits and incentives that Ready-to-Ware offers to professional staff is toocostly. Our quarterly profits have declined since the package was introduced two years ago, at the time of our incorporation. Moreover, the package hadlittle positive effect, as we have had only marginal success in recruiting and training high-quality professional staff. To become more profitable again, Ready-to-Ware should, therefore, offer the reduced benefits package that was inplace two years ago and use the savings to fund our current research and development initiatives ."
AA I wrote:
In this argument the director recommends that the software company offer thereduced benefits package that was in place two years ago and use the savings to fund current research and development activities. Several reasons are offered in support of this argument. First of all, the author points out that the quarterly profits of the company have declined since the incorporation of thebenefits and incentive package two years ago and claims that the package is very costly. In addition, the author mentions that the company had only marginal success in recruiting and training high-quality professionalemployees. As we skim through the argument we may find the conclusion somewhatappealing. After a quick but careful analysis, we can easily identify several logic flaws that render author's line of reasoning questionable.
First of all, the author attributed the decline in profits to the incorporation of the benefits package simply because the latter precedented the former. However, the author's line of reasoning is fallacious unless other factors relevant to the decline in profits have been ruled out. For example, Otherfactors such as poor marketing strategies, overly aggressive pricingstructures, or even lousy product quality control have led the decline in the company's revenue in that particular quarter following the introduction of thebenefits and incentives package. Unless all these factors have been considered and ruled out, it is premature on the part of the author to conclude that the benefits package caused the decline in profits.
In addition, the author fails to establish the link between introducing thebenefits package and failing to recruit and train professional staff. The author did not mention what other factors can impact recruiting process and the effects of training programs. For example, the benefits package may simply not be good enough attract high quality staff to join the company, even though the package itself is quite costly. The author did not provide enough details about the benefits and incentives of the package itself and it is impossible to tell the quality of the package. The author fails to take into account of suchpossibilities and conveniently chooses to blame the benefit package. Therefore, without further information about package, the author's conclusion is not very convincing.
Moreover, the author assumes that swtiching back to the lower cost benefits package two years ago would solve all the issues above. There is, however, noguarantee that the author will succeed. There is no information that the company was successful when the old package was in place . Even if so, the market and economic environment could have changed so signifcantly that the same strategy that worked before would not necessarily work in the future. Switching back to a lower cost program may help reduce the cost and improvechanges of profitability, but it is by no means a certainty that the company will become profitable again without information on other relevant factors, such as product design, quality and cost control. Thus, the author's recommendationis not acceptable.
In summary, the author's conclusion is not persuassive as it stands. It could be considerably strengthened if the author has ruled out other factors relevant to the decline of profits and find the real root cause. In order to assess themerits of the situation, it is essential to have all the knowledge about the factors that impact recruiting process and the training of professional staff. Further evidence that can show switching back to the lower cost benefits package couled allow profitability will further substantiate the author's view.
Summary: This AA was written by me in 30 minutes, with a total of 584 words. I didn’t have time to check and revise it. I wrote it in the mock test and copied it here. Careful students will find that there are 7 typos and other grammatical errors in my article, but the final result is 6 points. The importance of word count cannot be overstated. Of course, I'm not saying that you can get 6 with just one pass, because after all, the real score can't be fooled, but at least you know what E-rater mainly looks at.
Analyzes the issue 5
Supports ideas 6
Organizes a coherent idea 6
Language control 6
There are many people who believe thatwe should ignore someone's personal faults if the person has achieved greatnessin a particular field, such as arts, science, politics or business. Othersbelieve that one person should be judged more holistically, rather than basedon only one the achievement in a field. The issue is a complex andcontroversial one as people with different education background, personalexperience or different culture background may come to different conclusions tothis issue. Whether one opinion takes precedence over the other would depend onspecific situations. As far as I am concerned, I tend to agree with thestatement and believe that we should be more forgiving to people who haveachieved something great and contributed to the advances of our society, aslong as the personal fault of person does not bear significant negative socialimpact.
First of all, we should be forgivingto the personal mistakes of people who have achieved something great and madethe world we live a better place. Looking back in our history, I could not findany person who has ever lived on this planet and who has not conducted anythinginappropriate. No one is perfect. Why will we not be more forgiving to peoplewho have already sacrificed a lot to achieve something great? Sometimes,achievements can be measured in some way by looking what one has to give up inorder to be where he or she wants to be. For example, super star MichaelJackson, has been considered the King of Pop and what he achieved in music isin paralleled. We all know Michael is not perfect but his personal mistakesonly belong to his personal life. Most people still choose to love him andrespect him. Therefore, like most people, I believe that we should be forgivingto the personal faults of great people as their achievement is more important.
In Addition, the personal faults ofgreat people are sometimes natural results of their efforts to achievegreatness. An example is the legendary leader Steve Jobs from Apple Computers.Steve has been well known for his bad temper and stubbornness. However, it isexactly his personal traits that lead him to success. In other words,stubbornness can be seen as consistency and persistency, which arenecessary to overcome setbacks andoppositions. Sometimes it is very difficult to differentiate the two but it iscertain that if Steve had not been stubborn, or persistent on what he believedto be true and on his vision for consumer electronics, Apple would not havebeen so successful today. Hence, we simply cannot separate some of the socalled personal faults from a great person and the best way is just to bewilling to accept the personal faults.
However, one cannot completelyoverlook some of the personal faults that brought negative social impact, particularlyfrom well-known people with great reputation from their fields. Once peoplehave achieved a certain status in a society, their celebrity status gives thema greater chance to be brought under scrutiny by the mass. Any mistakes offaults they make can have bigger impact than ordinary people. It is then partof their responsibility that they take advantage of their social status andhelp create values that will benefit the community, instead of hurting it. Anyimproper behavior from their personal lives would set a bad role model foryounger generations. For example, Tiger Woods was one of the most successfulgolfers in the world. However, scandals from his personal life not onlytarnished his own reputation but also brought negative influence to the youngpeople who see him as a model. In this case, it is thus imprudent to say thatTiger's personal faults do not matter because what he does and says can have asignificant impact on our society.
In summary, while people who haveachieved greatness in one field can have more social impact and their personalfaults will be more visible to us, it is clear that their achievement is stillmore important than their personal misconducts. We should be more forgiving tothose who have sacrificed a lot to achieve greatness and brought a lot ofbenefits to our society. Therefore, I agree with the statement and believe thegreatness of a person is more important than the personal faults.
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